FAQ Friday; How to be a Bride

{The Question} What are my expectations as a bride?


I know what you're thinking. "Rhi how could you possibly know what it takes to be a bride?" And to be completely honest, I'm not 100% sure I know it all. But I do know that in addition to rocking a sweet lace bridal gown for five hours of my life, I learned a few lessons that might make your job as future bride run smoothly and efficiently. Stemming off of last weeks' How to be a Bridesmaid post, I present to you, my personal, Spark Notes Version on How to be a Bride. Picture via.

{De-Diva-tize Yourself} I totally just made that word up but it sure sounds good. I'm not sure if any of you ever watch Cake Boss but I recently watched the episode where a bride came into the bakery to check on her cake the day before her wedding. She explained very clearly to Buddy that the cake he had made was 'disgusting,' and not even close to what she had asked for. She then proceeded to help herself to piping bags full of coloured frosting, that she used to completely destroy the cake before walking out and telling a very shocked Buddy that 'hopefully he knew what she wanted now.' A very professional and kind Buddy created a second equally as beautiful cake and delivered it to the bride the next day were she still refused to come out of her bridal suite to praise/apologize/thank/admire the cake and/or Buddy. I told myself I'd never curse on this blog and I'm not yet willing to make an exception but this girl was a you know what. Don't be a you know what. Ever. It's unattractive and it's bad karma. And not worth it for the pleasure of getting your way on one day of your entire life.

{Be Forgiving} Life happens. Sometimes it rains on your wedding day. Sometimes the coral coloured roses you selected can look a little more orange than you'd like. And sometimes your Mom can sort of get in the way when all you want to do is run the show your way, no ifs, ands or buts. As much as it sucks to hear it, while you are indeed the bride on your big day, you are not an exception to any rule that governs how you treat others. So while you celebrate one of the biggest days of your life make sure you remember to be forgiving. Forgive your bridesmaid who gets stuck in traffic and is late to the salon. Forgive your Mother who is so emotionally overwhelmed that her daughter is getting married, that she is still arguing with you over the dress you selected that's not as 'traditional' as the one she loved. And don't forget to most importantly, forgive yourself on that day if you don't meet every wedding-related expectation you've conjured up in your head. Sure you're the bride. But you're also human too. As is everyone else contributing to the celebration. Be forgiving.

{Be Realistic} I'll be the first to admit that decking my bridal party out in Vera Wang gowns, Loubous and handing them over bunches of imported pink peonies would have been so fly. I also thought a canary yellow diamond ring a la Heidi Klum would have looked sort of lovely on my finger. Clearly my head was clouded with unrealistic thoughts during the preliminary stages of our engagement. While I was guilty of muttering on more than one occasion the "But it's my day!" phrase, I did learn quickly to be realistic about both the choices that were made during our engagement, and the way I expressed my reactions to how things panned out on the wedding day. For example, consider your bridesmaid's feelings, budgets, and body types when picking their gowns. Do your research and find a photographer who has a similar style to the photog you love yet quoted you a price that made you pee your pants a little. Get.over.it when you're convinced your budget, northern Canadian autumn wedding won't match up to all those pretty southern California summer fetes. Do things your way, and be true to yourself but don't get lost in any ideas, concepts or behaviours that are in the end, completely unrealistic. Otherwise you'll be one flustered and disappointed bride. So not sexy.

{Have Fun and Be Fabulous} This one's pretty obvious right? Wrong. If you're reading this blog, chances are you either a) really like me and I sincerely love you for that or b) you're a bride to be and are looking for advice on everything relating to weddings. You've crafted up the most perfect day in your head and you can already picture exactly how you want everything to turn out. And for all those lucky folk out there, it might turn out just like you imagined. Or it may not for whatever reason. If the cake is the wrong flavor, the roses are instead daisies, the DJ plays the wrong first dance song, your brother gets too drunk, your bustle busts on your dress, your maid of honour changes of out her dress before the dancing has even begun; just remember the most important thing is to have fun and be fabulous. It's your wedding day. And that girl in the pretty white gown with the busted bustle? Everyone's going to  look to see if she's having fun. So make sure you do. You'll thank me later.

Any advice anyone would love to share on How to be a Bride? I'd love to hear from you!

12 Lovely Comments:

Free Pretty Things For You said...

you are SO hired! :)
thinking of every single detail!

and thank you for your kind response an not thinking I've Lost it lol
so you dont think im weird here is the story :)
My hubby's BFF is a totally Obsessed with it and he wants to surprise him with a pack.
happy to know they still sell it there!Now i just have to figure how to get it! Thank you for the info hun!!
xoxo!
Keren

Liesl @ FabulousFashions4SensibleStyle said...

Love this post and your honesty!

Oh and I both...

a) Like you

and

b) Am a bride-to-be who will take any tips she can get along the way.

YOU ROCK!!!

Liesl :)

Nikki said...

Great advice! I would say, picture your wedding as a whole. Are there any little details you've been slaving over that you can't see? Then drop them now. No one wants to be making drink flags on Easter (yes I did that to my family).

If all else fails, have a tequila tasting bar and any problems will be forgotten ;)

Koru Kate said...

Awesome advice! My advice would be to let go. When you're stressing over something that you don't have the money, energy &/or time for, just let go. In the end, I let go of a few projects & it was quite satisfying. Your wedding day will be as beautiful & memorable without that something. Eat, drink & be married!

Josie said...

What brilliant advice! I'm sure I have plenty of time before I get married but I hope I can be as calm and collected as you suggest!
xo Josie
http://winksmilestyle.blogspot.com

LouBoo said...

Hello sweet - gosh I wish you had been around when I got married to dish out this advice (I love this little series btw). I think we all have an interest, even if we are not a bride to be as it is sensible and honest advice. I also like the reference to 'Loubous' which is almost like Lou, Boos and Shoes ;-) Lou x

Krystal said...

I love your tips :) It's a great article my dear!!! I can't believe that cake story, what was her deal???
(and yes, you can be my partner in crime at UO) =)

THE ALTERNATIVE WIFE said...

Fabulous tips, lovely! Seriously you are right on every point. And wow, I can't even believe that story about the bride and the cake. I didn't get to see the episode yet. I'll watch in horror!

Have a great weekend! xoxoxo

Brooke said...

This is so great! Sometimes I notice myself turning into a quick bridezilla and get really stressed out, but then I tell myself it'll all be okay and it'll work out :D

Alisha said...

Rhi, you just about covered EVERYTHING!! Great post hon :)
Love love!

Joanna said...

So happy to have stumbled upon your blog after seeing your beautiful wedding on Style Me Pretty. Your words are so encouraging and helpful along this journey of planning a wedding, and they are a sobering perspective that I agree sometimes gets lost in the world of beautiful wedding blogs! Thank you so much, I look forward to following your blog as I continue with wedding planning!

Irene said...

hey, im a bride (august) and i think it's safe to say i adore you for this post.
you're so sweet and it's so true...so many women get caught up in the fuss....
i may or may not be guilty of dreaming of "imported peonies" and expensive photographers.....but im trying to swallow that bitter pill slowly but surely.
great advice. if only more "you know whats" listened to you.

ps. saw that cake boss episode......wow.