Pep Talk Tuesday {What It Means To Be Married}

I'm a self-admitted worrier. I get caught up in the little things far too often, much too quickly and on multiple occasions every day, find myself submerged in my thoughts, feelings and emotions. So it's a little beyond me that in the two and a half years Andrew and I were engaged I never consciously took a break from my pink-clouded daydreams to really think about what it meant to be a wife. Sure, it was exciting to think of this new title, this evolution of girlfriend to fiance to wife, like a shiny new name plate placed on the desk of your first new job. But I never really considered what that meant for me and what that would feel like for me prior to it happening. I remembered to think of all the little details before the wedding but I really forget to do the most important thing which was taking a moment for self-reflection and the chance to ponder what this whole walking-down-the-aisle-to-be-a-wifey-poo meant. I catch myself sometimes when I write a facebook status update or a tweet that involves my expression of doing something 'wifely.' And I try to define what this means to me, not to anyone else but to me, the girl who regardless of her last name loves her husband unconditionally and is committed to him as much as she swore she would be on her wedding day. And I realize that being his wife is exactly what I thought it would be like. Future brides-to-be, between all the planning, and the confusion over the name change and the tough decisions between blush or champagne pink and the slightest sliver of fear at becoming a wife because it's kind of new, and weird and different, give your non-wife self a minute or two to reflect on what it means for you to be married. That's what this whole wedding thing is about anyways and when given context and meaning it's ten times more special and meaningful.

And here I am. Andrew's best friend in her new wifey poo glory. Rock on, Rhi. Rock on.

33 Lovely Comments:

LouBoo said...

As we always said my wise friend - it's about a marriage, not a wedding...in the long term anyway. I could write lots and lots on wifery - that's another post in itself. But for now - I adore this shot of you - cheeky and charming. Your boy is a lucky man. Lou x

P.S. Sorry about the delete - not sure what happened there!

apparentlyjessy said...

Wise words Rhiannon. I think that a lot of girls focus too much on the wedding and not what will come beyond that.
I am a worrier too. Must try and cut back on it really, it's very counter productive sometimes!

Jidhu Jose said...

nice

Scientific Housewife said...

So true!

Amanda Wilcher said...

This is decidedly SO you. :)

Mallory said...

that picture has sass - love it!

Paisley Card Co said...

Such a cute picture of you and your bridesmaids! Also, love the minor changes to your logo! Looks clean & refined! :) Thanks for sharing all of your wedding details!

Stephanie said...

I just have to ask...is this stemming from our twitter convos about "The Bachelor" last night? :)

HiLLjO said...

So beautiful. That's why I started Daisy to Sunflower because I was having all these emotions thinking about what kind of wife I'd be and want to be for him. Not just the bride role, but the Wife role.

Shana said...

Oh yes the constant worry, I know it well. I have already started having nightmares about things at our upcoming wedding. Like the building falls over the night before kind of thing lol! Thank you for reminding me to keep it in persepctive! The "marriage" is the most important to the wedding day ! I must say I get a chill whenever I hear Dave say I am his future wife but it is something I need to get used to for sure! and then the future title of Mom! That's another issue for another time ! lol!

Thank you again for your thoughtful posts!
Shana

Lindsay said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lindsay said...

I've been following for awhile (after I saw your Chicago engagement pictures...SWOON. I loove Chicago)but haven't commented until now. This last post wasn't meant to be earth shattering I'm sure, but I can totally relate to what you said, and it really, really put things into persepective. I find myself spending way too much time in my head sometimes, instead of the real world. Thanks for a reminder to keep my head in the game, and worry more about what's real for ME instead of what other people say are realistic expectations.

Marcie said...

I just love what you've written here! SO beautiful and true. We all need pep talks and giving one to yourself is inspiring. I am going to do this today.

xo Marcie

Mariel Torres said...

i LOVE this picture! what a beautiful bride ;)

Nikki said...

Darling photo.

Honestly I hadn't given it much thought either. Even though I really wanted to go to premarital counceling, just for good measure (we didn't). I didn't think things would change because we lived together and owned a home and 2 dogs (sinners, I know!). But they did change.

And then I realized it was all about expectations and if you didn't communicate those expectations things would go South quickly. And now I've got it figured out. Well today anyway...

Anna Elder said...

i actually had the same thing happen to me too. i didn't start to think about what it actually meant until after the wedding. like, way after too. i was so caught up in the excitement of planning the actual "event". im also a notorious worrier. it causes insomnia way too often.
thanks for your pep talk!! you always have such great things to say.

Michaela said...

Great advice, girlfriend. I love learning from you! The picture is adorable. You're always adorable! Love you! Skype again once my finals are over and I'm done being a basket case!!!! xoxoxo

It's A Love Story said...

Great advise !!

Koru Kate said...

It's so funny how when the wedding & honeymoon are over, you look at your life & think "Wow, I'm a wife now!" I'm still in shock sometimes :-)

Fab photo!!!

Mademoiselle Michael said...

Such wisdom, thank you for sharing! I'm beginning to wonder what I would do without all of your thoughtful words and advice! Loving the blog. And also, gorgeouss pic. MademoiselleMichael

{The Perfect Palette} said...

Weddings are and should always be focused on the marriage of two people. Unfortunately, so many times the meaning is forgotten or lost. In the midst of wedding planning, dress shopping, color palette choices & all that comes along with the planning of this 1 day, it's so important to remember what all the fuss is truly about! Well, said.

Megan said...

oh hi, we are twins. same person. get into my reality now.

Brooke said...

I love this! and the new feature :D

Lori said...

Love this Rhi ~ and it is so true ~ I was focused on the wedding while my wise boy was focused on the marriage... he was right. xo

Erin*Sparkle&Hay said...

SO true lady! so true...

Design Apprentice said...

Rhiannon- I absolutely loveee this. I can't tell you how many of your posts are starred in my reader for when I join the forces of the engaged. So sad you'll be moving away from Chicago. I'd still love to do dinner before, depending on your schedule. xx, Katie

Chelsea Elizabeth. said...

When I get married someday I really want to focus on what comes after the wedding, not just the wedding. Inspiring words and beautiful picture. :)

<3Chelsea Elizabeth
http://organizedxxmess.blogspot.com

Jess said...

This picture is so cute! You look calm, but excited if that makes sense?

So many people make it ALL about the wedding plans but we kept it very simple (but that's just US). You have to focus on what's really important in the big picture... your marriage!

Krystal said...

that is interesting to think about, i think that way back when i got married, i sure did not think about what it would be like to be married, i just wanted to live with mark, haha!

Wild and Precious said...

marriage is so redeeming -- i learn SO Much EVERY day... not just about what it means to be a wife -- but about myself and who i was created to be. not sure i would have ever learned this stuff with out my betrothed!

{av} said...

{raises hand} I'm a worrier too! I loved where you took this post...and I'm totally with you on it all. I am so glad I took a few minutes with {cv} after the wedding just to ourselves. It was so great to have that time to understand what we had just jumped into ;) hope you're having a great week! xoxo {av}

p.s. happy to come dress you, pretty lady--that was such a compliment!

Naomi Goodman said...

Your wedding {why am I still awake, God!} is absolutely gorgeous and so are you! You have such a great personality and it shines through your posts. Thank you for sharing and I love this sentence "Rock on, Rhi. Rock on."

Pink Champagne said...

Adore this post! (And that photo of you, to boot.) Isn't it amazing how some things are exactly the same as before the wedding, but some things have changed and taken on a whole new "wife" feeling? I think that is part of the fun of being newlyweds - figuring everything out together and knowing that you have the rest of your lives together!