Pep-Talk Tuesday {The Blogging Blues}

I had this post on my mind for a while now. Just finding the right time to spell out my feelings in a way that wouldn't come across as whiny, was tough. But today when I found it hard to drag my little butt out of bed and when husband brought me breakfast, then refused to bring me lunch to the bedroom too, I figured I had a little bit of a problem on my hands; I may be suffering from a mild case of the blogging blues.

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Everyone has their own reasons for blogging and for some, there's more than one main reason. Yet, it can be tough to maintain a sense of purpose and a sense of acceptance from your blogging peers when it seems like everyone and their Mom (seriously, I mean this in the most literal ways possible) has started a blog. Blogging is the new facebook. An accessory to some, a way for others to claim their chunk of Internet real estate. Sometimes blogging feels like I'm swimming in an overcrowded pool of bloggers; I'm not drowning but instead grazing other's legs as they too try to tread and maintain their position on the surface. Then all of a sudden, 50 new swimmers cannon ball into the pool. And you know what happens next. Blogging can feel like a fight to the surface, like you need to kick a little harder to avoid getting trampled by the new swimmers.

Remember in high school when you'd get dressed in the morning in your brand new jeans and top, heading off to school feeling like a million bucks? Only to get there and see that that much prettier, smarter and more poplar friend of yours was sporting an even better new outfit, leaving you in turn feeling defeated, left out, maybe even reconsidering why you even bought your new digs in the first place. I feel like this with blogging sometimes. When I look at my blog, and my blog only, I feel a great sense of accomplishment. For more than two years I've groomed this little babe into something that's become my full time job, my purpose and my calling. But then I look around at the gazillion others, who in much less time have more followers, more pictures of themselves and their girlfriends, better submissions, prettier posts, more happiness it seems (all while they make it look so effortless) and I think, what could I have done differently?

The answer is, I think nothing. This whole comparison game is all too familiar (remember the comparison game I played here?) And in short, comparison is the road to madness. Apb gets on my case daily about my little pity parties because they probably drive him nutty. Actually they do drive him nutty because I know how they make me feel. Close friends (you know who you are and I adore you) continually sing praises to me in an effort to either shut me up or allow me to realize I am fabulous the way I am (or perhaps both). And me? Well, these bouts of the blogging blues are a sign that I care. That I really truly care about this blog, what's its been, where it's going and what it represents to me and the thousands of you that read it everyday regardless of how boring you may find me or the content here. That if I didn't feel the need to be better, to grow, to learn, to stay inspired and on top of myself personally and professional then these blogging blues wouldn't exist; and I am a firm believer in going through a little bit of bad to feel a whole lot of good.


Jenna McKenzie took these fun little shots of me. I asked her to capture the real me. I think she did just that xo

Anyone else out there ever feel the Blogging Blues?

55 Lovely Comments:

Amanda @ Serenity Now said...

I blogged about something very similar today. I included a link from Thrift Decor Chick that you'd probably enjoy reading. :) We've ALL been there. I feel that way almost every day. ;) Hugs!

jacin {lovely little details} said...

always, love. just remember why you started it in the first place, and try to stay true to you - oh wait, you're already doing that, so you don't need my advice! you're doing just fine. i think we all have to remind ourselves of this every once in a while, and be confident about what we're putting out there! i feel the same as you :)

cindy* said...

girl, i know the blogging blues all too well. comparison is definitely the killer of joy...i tell myself this all the time. it seems that everyone has something to offer that is better than what i have and those photos that once had so much luster become less vibrant...it's when someone unexpected tells me that something i do is great, that i actually feel validated. i think it stems from always wanting to do better, and though that can be stressful, i think that's why i like it. all we can do is keep offering our unique points of view :)

Glamour and Grace said...

Rhi, thanks so much for posting this! I have been feeling the exact same way lately, and you so beautifully put into words my very same emotions. You are an amazing and beautiful person (inside and out!) and your blog is and will always be a reflection of that. Thank you again for posting this, it makes me feel so much better that I am not the only one who can feel overwhelmed and lost in the sea of blogs these days. The struggle to set yourself apart can seem daunting but you reminded me that if I can stay true to me, I will shine on my own!

Twig and Lily said...

Girl you are fab and absolutely stand out from the crowd! At times {daily} I too feel the exact same way about my blog and other areas of my life. But the trick is as soon as you have those negative self thoughts, counteract them with thinking about numerous ways you're amazing or numerous glorious blessings in your life and then keep on trucking. Works every time. Keep on doing what you're doing, because it's working! Much love to you. ; )

Caitlin said...

I think all of us ladies that blog have been through this at one time or another. But your blog is beautiful and I always love reading your posts, even though I am far from any of it applying to this Single Sally. It's up to us to be confident and true to ourselves and blog honestly without worrying about how we measure up to others. Hope you blogging blues pass quickly!

Lauren @ ELD said...

Rhi, you are definitely NOT alone! I feel this way at least a few times a week. We just have to stick to our guns and remind ourselves what drives us to do it. What fires you up and what makes you YOU. I have to constantly remind myself of what my goals are and why I started doing it to begin with. There's room for everyone in this pool if we all stay true to ourselves! :) I'm here whenever you need someone to talk to or vent to! It definitely helps to know that someone else is feeling the same way!

Jessica of Fine and Fleurie said...

Gorgeous, your blog is amazing and so are you. Don't be blue, just keep on keepin' on. We are all trying to make our way in this crazy industry that eats people alive everyday (lol) and you are doing exceptionally well. Your passion shines through and that's what it takes to endure xoxoxo

ASHLEY said...

Sorry!! I posted under my client's name :( AS I was saying! I love you and you are FABULOUS!!! Keep doing what you are doing girl :)

Alicia@CharityWedding said...

I love that you posted this because in blogging world you are the much cuter girl with the WAY cuter outfit and I am the one wondering why I bother sometimes! My blog is a glorified full time hobby and sometimes I wonder if its worth it all. But I love it and I can't stop, so I guess that means it is worth it. Like any "job" I think there are always moments of doubt and frustration. I am a serial comparer and I too know I need to knock it off and be grateful for what I have and not worry about anything else. You are fab and so is your blog. Sometimes taking a break helps, even if for only a day!

Kris said...

Rhi. There's a reason I check your blog almost once-a-day... and check NO ONE ELSE'S! Keep up the fab work.

savoringsarah.com said...

OY! I think the hardest part is learning not to be so hard on yourself, because out of everyone out there- your own expectations are the highest!! The blogs I follow faithfully are unique, have their own voice, don't blog about what "everyone else" is blogging about, and contribute SOMETHING that I find entertaining/useful/enjoyable. I think, even if 5 'strangers' get joy out of my blog, then I am doing enough! Isn't that so awesome? To know that what you write and share is influencing total strangers in some way? I love that! I also love how well into words you were able to put the feelings all bloggers feel at some point or another. :) THANK YOU for that!

Larissa Nicole Photography said...

Hey Rhi, I just recently came across your blog & it is absolutely gorgeous as well as a good source for brides. Don't worry about comparing - we all have done it! Just keep focusing on you & where you want to go & you will def get there! ;)

Koru Kate said...

There is only one you in this crazy world & what you offer on your blog is unique because it's YOURS! But I understand how you feel. Take a little time & hopefully things look brighter soon. (((HUGS)))

Major Gal said...

there are weeks when i can barely get one post written and others when stuff just pours out of me. we all have these days. good for you for speaking out ;)

Sarah {A Paper Proposal} said...

As a blogger who is still relatively new to the "scene" (for lack of a better word =P), I am constantly overwhelmed by the amount of creativity and just how QUICKLY things move in the wedding blog world...sometimes it seems like I can never work hard or fast enough! I guiltily step away from my computer for an hour on a Tuesday afternoon, and feel like I've missed EVERYTHING upon my return!

With that being said though, I'm in complete awe of beautiful wedding blogs like yours, and I find myself really looking up to successful business women like yourself. While there are a million and one other wedding blogs out there, you should know just how much us newbies look up to you, and aspire to reach your level of success!

Thank you for having the courage to be so open and honest on your blog each week (it's something I continue to struggle with every day), because it means a lot to know that I'm not going completely nuts! ;)

tcorbin03 said...

Girl, your blog is special because it is you! There may be many other tottly cool blogs but I don't them LOL! I like yours in all it's funny and creative and cool ways! To the someone prettier comment, there will always be someone prettier, smarter, more athletic, etc. but it is your combo that makes you who you are! I remind myself that curves are fitting for my sassy, fun attitude. And no, I don't want to be super skinny even though those Victoria Secret models are hotties! That is one thing that makes them amazing but my many assets and flaws make me special! I feel the same way about blog sites. I look at mine. It is bare but hey I work, I am a good wife, I keep a semi-neat house, I work out and cook healthy and more than anything, I have a rockin relationship with God (and that is the most important)! So to my skimpy blog, it's ok! My readers, in their few, find encouragement and that is what I want. Doesn't matter if I touch 1 or 100,000.....it is all worth it! I love your blog, remember it is my "Girl Read" LOL. Lots of love! Traci

Amy said...

My blog is pretty new so I haven't exactly hit the blues as of yet. What I find hard is to always be honest about myself. When you put yourself out there for all the world to see, appearances can mean so much. My blog is chronicling my weightloss of 110 lbs and forcing myself to be honest with not just my readers but myself can be exceedingly difficult.

I have to admit, though, I've been reading your blog since you were doing cupcakes and you are a major inspiration to me as a blogger. Just keep doing what you're doing. We love you and what you write. If we didn't, we wouldn't keep coming back again and again.

la petite coquine said...

Don't you hate those pretty, perfect, popular pulled together girls that make you feel like crud? The bloggers that have the world's BEST LIVES while you're deciding between frozen chicken nuggets and pot stickers for dinner?

I think everyone, including those girls with amazing FB photo albums and check ins at the best restaurants, feel like someone else is doing it better. I know I do. And it's hard. Facebook, twitter, your blog-you work so hard and you try to be real and fabulous, and you feel like someone is always doing better than you are. But you want to know what I say to myself when I feel like that?

People like me because I'm ME, not because I'm Katie or Emma. And we love you because you're Rhi. The magic isn't in how pretty your posts or how jaw dropping your submissions are-it's in what you bring to them.


So take some time away, read magazines, watch trashy TV and get a cocktail (why don't we live closer together?!?) and come back when you feel like. And remember how happy we'll be to have you here.

brit @ landlocked bride said...

The most important piece of advice I can share, is to be true to yourself and carry this over on the blog. And, remember to evaluate your target market. You still have a following and you still have a ton of readers that look forward to your content every day. And, while there may be a ton of people jumping in the pool at once, not everyone can capture an audience and keep it. Keep shining doll, because I think you're pretty awesome :)

mary shouvlin said...

Love those pictures of you! So fun! xo

Nicole said...

I am always so inspired by your honesty even if your thoughts aren't the thoughts of the majority. I LOVE reading your blog everyday and all the wedding happiness you show just puts a smile on my face. Keep doing this thing and being true to yourself. You do a great job!

Tiffany @ Savor Home said...

This post was RIGHT ON TIME for me. I had the blogging blues yesterday. I love blogging, but often feel the same way you do. I am a new blogger (i.e one of the 50 who recently took a cannon ball into the pool- love that:) and now Im trying to stay afloat with everyone else. I have days when I feel like Im drowning while everyone else is swimming laps, but I have more days when I feel validated, appreciated and like I am having fun. Thanks so much for your honesty and for me making me feel like I am not alone! I love your blog, so keep on keepin' on girl!

LouBoo said...

Ugh left a long comment that got lost...grrr...will try to locate! The gist was you are fab, chill, it will all be fine. Lou x

Ashley said...

yep. i totally feel ya. i blog about 1x a week now and it used to be 3 or 4x. i've lost my mojo. but that's okay, maybe i just need a little break. a breather. who knows.

comparing can really kill your sense of self. it's hard to stay on top by looking at what others do. you have to be inventive, add something different to the mix and then, basically, just be rhi. people love you and that's why it's worked out for you so far!

patience grasshopper!

Sandra Downie {The White Library} said...

Rhi,
I have to say I just found your blog 2 days ago and I already love it. Look, I am CONSTANTLY revaluation myself, my blog and my efforts. I have compared myself to others in the past and then I just decided to just do me. My blog is now about weddings, desserts (I am a wedding and dessert table designer) and beautiful living...but these are the things I love. Love your encouragement, writing style and I think your funny and you rock! XO

Liesl @ FabulousFashions4SensibleStyle said...

Rhiannon, my blogland friend, and simply lovely person, I love that you took the time to write this post and put your feelings out there...it is so important!

I think in a way a lot, if not all, of us are going through this, or something similar, and I can only speak for myself, but I understood all of what you were saying and feel it is so true and such a human feeling to feel!

I started blogging 2 years ago, as well, just simply for myself and honestly never thought people would follow...once I figured out what that really was anyway...hehe...and I like that I have my little blog or Internet real estate, as you cleverly say, to look back on my journey thus far, and so much has really happened for me and in my life in the last year...and all is documented! :)

My blog has become a true passion of mine and I truly enjoy it and only wish I could even blog more than just every other day on average. However, it does take up time and sometimes I have so many ideas and things to share and other times I find myself behind...so I relate completely!

Just know that I adore you and your blog and from the very first day I stumbled up on it some time ago and have just loved seeing it grow, evolved and gain its own look and space on the internet...I am so, so proud of you!

I don't think you could have said it all any better and you, and my mother, both agree that you have to work for things and a little bit of bad to get the good makes it worth it and almost a bigger, better accomplishment...very similar to trying to an actor! :)

Sending extra smiles your way! :) :) :)

Liesl :)
xoxo

Molly said...

Lovely Rhi, your thoughts and feelings are so normal! Thank you for sharing ~ your honesty and open-hearted-ness are refreshing. I totally get what you are saying about the comparison part.

In the spirit of synchronicity, I wrote an article on this very topic just a week or so ago. If you are looking for ways to move through the Blogging Blues, this might help provide some ideas.(Sorry, not trying to be self-promotional at all, just want to share.)

Your light is so bright! Keep shining, girl. :)

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/creative-types-how-to-stop-comparing-yourself-to-others/

Shana said...

Oh lady you know I feel the blues! Dave gets tired of my pity parties and especially dislikes when I state that "maybe I should just give up at least once a week". You know that I love your blog ( and I promise I don't tell you this all the time just to shut you up!)and that I look forward to reading it each and every day. I feel like I am reading about a friend when I read your blog and I think that is an amazing gift you give to all of us :)

Kody said...

Rhi, I can honestly say your blog is one of my favorites to read. At the end of the day I've seen blogs from all niches (is that a word) with great designs but that doesn't mean I like their content. You have great content and I love your writing style. I'm so happy you were able to transition into something you love. I'm still bummed I couldn't work with you for my wedding, wedding planning is always something I've wanted to do, but you get to!

Simone said...

Rhi, another wonderfully honest post from you, bless your heart!!

From where I am standing, I think you are doing a fabulous job, you have indeed your blog up - and I think (and yes, I may be biased!) that it is your blog that stands out amongst the others - and yours is the one that others compare themselves too. Talent, passion, style and knowledge will all last longer - and you have all of these.

I have said it before but will say it again - DO NOT COMPARE!! It will do you no good. Perhaps you are your own harshest critic - sometimes a good thing, but sometimes it means you are too hard on yourself.

Simone xx

Yvonne@StyleBurb said...

Hi, I found your blog from a comment you left on Amanda@Serenity Now, and I just thought I would say hi. You have a beautiful blog- truly it's something to be extremely proud of. I've only been blogging for about 5 months, so you really don't need advice from a newbie like me, but, I think nothing really good comes of comparison- every blog is unique! I hope you have a great week!

Pink Champagne said...

Is that white lace a Lilly, pretty lady??? You look gorgeous! XO

Pink Champagne said...

And PS - your blog is just fabulous. Rock on, Rhi! ;)

Pink Champagne said...

And PS - your blog is just fabulous. Rock on, Rhi! ;)

Amanda said...

Yep. I think you put into words what a lot of bloggers face at some point or another (or perhaps repeatedly over the course of time).

I know that I was blogging for about 3 years before anybody read my blog. Come last fall (after about 2 years of having "readers") I found myself losing the joy in posting, worrying about followers and trying to keep up with people who commented and checking stats to see which posts got the most feedback. Before I knew it, I'd completely lost my voice. I had no idea what the POINT was anymore, so I shuttered my blog (not saying that others should take my extreme route, ha!). I took 6 months off of writing, and almost entirely off of reading blogs. I just lived my life offline and waited to see if inspiration came back to me. It did, but I also realized that not having a focus was a big part of the reason I was feeling disconnected from my own "internet real estate" (love that!). So now I have one and it's making all the difference in how I view the whole endeavor.

And like you said, going through these rough stages make you realize what you care about and what you can do to make it better! :)

Lori said...

Hey ~ save me a seat at that pity party!! We all compare and do you know what ~ we shouldn't! You have some great comments here but I am going to chime in anyway. You have come a long way baby ~ your blog is gorgeous ~ you are gorgeous ~ your photos are beautiful ~ and I love your raw honest posts Rhi. Hugs. xo

ag. said...

One of my favourite things about blogs is honest posts like this.

You've put so many of my thoughts and feelings into words and it's encouraging to know that others (you - who I think are the prettiest and most popular!) go through the same things. I started my blog just to give myself a place to write a bit but the pressure that it has created sometimes stresses me out more than I enjoy it. Thanks for sharing such an open and honest side of you.

Brooke said...

I feel this ALL the time. I had a horrible bloggy blues but then one day I just said forget it, It's my blog and I love the way it is. I'm going to do it the way I want and that's when I transformed it and it continues to!

I can't wait to see more of your pictures! You are so silly!

Nikki said...

Dear, in my bloggy high school you are the prettier more popular one, and for good reason. You're talented, have great ideas and wonderful advice. I always look forward to your posts.

I know what you mean though, and it is easy to get discouraged some days. I wish I had more time to make my posts my own, and try more projects myself. But I don't. So I use my blog to save ideas for myself and that has to be good enough for me right now.

Keri said...

It is so funny to read this coming from you because you are the blog I look at as more successful, more beautiful, more inspiring etc. :) Its nice to know you are not the only one who feels that way.
Beautiful pictures, as usual :)
xoxo

Hayley said...

I totally feel the same sometimes, but I agree with you that comparing yourselves and your blog to others will probably drive you crazy...its done this to me numerous times until I realise I have to shake it off

However its really strange reading it coming from your blog which I regard as one of my absolute favourites and I always really enjoy reading your posts. But it is nice to know that other bloggers including yourself feel the same way i do

P.s You look so adorable in those pictures :)

xx

Shawna said...

Rhi, it isn't about the longest, prettiest posts, it is about the personality behind them. That is what makes yours stand out and that is why people come back every day & why they want to work with you...you rock & are inspiring and I wouldn't have anyone else help me with my wedding! xo

Leah said...

I definitely know how you feel about comparing yourself with those who may have faster, easier success. I don't have a large following by any means, but I cherish the followers I do have and try to make my blog better for them and hopefully more will come along the way. Just keep your head above water and one day you will be swimming leisurely, enjoying life.

xo L.

Kirby said...

I'm going to sound like a broken record, but Yes, I feel the blogging blues too. I've been 'online' for about 2 years now and people who started after me get more comments in one day than I get in a month! but after I'm done with my pity party something good always comes around, like a new connection, a step in the right direction and supportive email. something that reminds me why I started all this in the first place. You Need this blog for your business, it is a tool almost as important as email. keep it up my friend!

xo
Kirby

Laura *You Stir Me* said...

aw, pumpkin, you're doing just fine and inspiring others to follow their dreams with Hey Gorg. The fact that your blog is your full time job is a major, major accomplishment - I feel like I'm barely holding on to my blog some days and it's only my hobby:) I'm sure every big time blogger has had those days where breakfast and lunch in bed is the only way they can recharge their batteries. Seriously, is there any other way? Keep up the good work, Rhi, and stop comparing yourself to that pretty girl who has the same jeans as you...you both have exquisite taste (although I agree with Alicia - you are that pretty girl. Rock on with your bad self.)

Kelley @ Kelley Maria said...

I can completely relate, Rhi. I am constantly striving for my blog to be "perfect" and as a result, I compare my blog to other blogs on a daily basis. I see people who just started a blog a few months ago and they already have 800 followers and I think "what am I doing wrong?" Then I come to the realization that it's not about how many followers I have or how many people comment on a post. It's about producing content that I enjoy.
Your blog has been an inspiration to me since I first found it over a year ago. Your writing style is vivid and interesting to read, your layout is always so perfectly done. You inspire me so keep up the good work!

Wild and Precious said...

thanks you for writing and sharing this girlfriend! love it!

Jesse {GoodGirlGoneGlad} said...

I know exactly how you feel and I have been contemplating my own reasons for blogging. I have definitely been feeling like I am not getting anywhere. Not really knowing where anywhere is. Feeling spread too thin. Definitely not feelin the love! Gosh I think I am the whiney one. =)

Kirsten- The Foreign Domestic said...

I love the honesty of your post. I'm new to blogging and some times I feel intimidated by others (like you) out there who have been doing this longer and have such amazing blogs! But, when I think about it, I see a blog as an extension of each person who has one--almost like a fingerprint. They're all so different and unique and no two blogs are the same. Keep doing what you're doing..nobody else can do it like you :).

Liene Stevens said...

I've been blogging for over 12 years and in a professional capacity since 2006. I've found that it's like anything else: sometimes you love it, sometimes you love to hate it. And wedding blogs are still in the very early stages: it's only going to get more saturated from here on out. I took a class taught by Seth Godin last year and he said it best: professionals get up and go to work whether they feel like it or not.

Megan said...

This is seriously EXACTLY how I've been feeling lately, Rhi!! Just like I'm drowning in this blog world. I'm so glad that you express yourself so beautifully.

Melissa Blake said...

I've been struggling with this myself, so thank you for such a wonderful post! But please know your blog is awesome! Those pics of you made me smile too....keep at it, girl! :)

Lauren@ "Happiness is..." said...

Goodness girl, I love your blog..it is absolutely beautiful!!! And yes, I think we have all felt the blogging blues. Its so easy to compare isn't it? Don't do it...it's not worth it! And remember....its not a competition!!! You're wonderful.

Tiera said...

I haven't been blogging (steadily, anyway) quite as long as you, but I think I can relate a little. I've definitely judged myself against other bloggers, and have been discouraged by the fact that other blogs are more successful than my little corner of the internet.