Pep Talk Tuesday {Removing Someone from your Wedding Party}

I think I may be speaking from experience, but planning a wedding can certainly bring out the best and worst in people. Get ready for this rather shattering revelation too people; planning your big day can make you wanna kick someones butt all the way out of your bridal party brigade. For the sake of making this post too complicated to follow, below I've referenced bridesmaids as opposed to groomsmen, however I want to make it clear that I think making adjustments to your wedding day team is often a necessary and totally acceptable thing to do when you're it comes to the utmost happiness on your wedding day (without going all bridezilla on everyone, of course). Here are a few of my painless tips for carefully asking someone to step down from their bridal duties and obligations. P.S. I am seriously loving these oversized bouquets and this photo snapped by Dave Getzschman of Ben Chrisman Photography.

{Soul Search} Try to pin point the reason you're removing the person (or wanting to remove them) in the first place. If it's your childhood best friend who couldn't make it to your sixth dress fitting because she was studying for her bar exam and you swear you wont ever.forgive.her.no.matter.what. then perhaps you need to reassess your feelings and take a step back to see how sensitive - and ridiculous - you're being. Sure, it's your wedding day and your feelings matter, but everyone else has a life of their own too. On the other hand, if the person in question is someone you've included in your party simply because you felt pressured or obligated to do so and now that the wedding is close you're realizing your mistake, then it's probably a safe choice to proceed with getting her the heck out. Make sure your reasoning behind your actions is somewhat justified so that come six months after the wedding you don't feel foolish or regretful but instead confident and satisfied with your well-thought out decision. A classy bride to be in always in style.

{Compromise} Sometimes completely revoking someone of their bridal duties, may be a recipe for disaster and thus you're forced to really get creative and make the best of the situation. Be willing to make a compromise with whoever it is that is not accepting of your decision to remove said person, whether it be said person herself, said person's brother, said person's mother (who could very well be your own Mom too), or the other members of your bridal party. There are numerous clever ways to include people in your wedding celebration without officially calling them a bridesmaid or having them walk down the aisle before you too, from ceremony readings, usher duties, a toast or speech and the list goes on. You may even get lucky and lift a huge weight off said person's shoulders by suggesting an alternative role. The good news? All this compromising is stellar practice for your approaching marriage. Score.

{Trust Your Gut} I cannot stress this little three word statement enough. It something does not feel right at any point throughout your engagement, chances are, it's not. The same holds true for your wedding party. If deep down inside your soon-to-be-married heart you feel as if your high school bestie really isn't meant to be your maid of honour but instead your new work supervisor who you haven't even know for a year better fits the job, then act on instinct. Just because your third cousin asked you to be a part of her big day doesn't mean in any way that your suppose to return the favour. If you'd rather have your best guy friend stand up beside you or instead you'd like to forgo the entire bridal party all together and fly solo with your groom, well these are all completely reasonable possibilities. No one except you, knows what you want and understands what will make you feel only positive and fulfilled feelings on your day as a bride. Close your eyes and picture yourself on your wedding day surrounded by only those who support you, love you and respect you as a person and a friend. And the people that come to mind are the ones that'll make the cut.

How about you? Did anyone have the tough task of removing a specific someone from your wedding party?

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DIY Project: Will You Be My Bridesmaid?

When a bride-to-be happens to be super cute, super fabulous and super talented, I can't help but squeal with delight when she sends me the most adorable project ever. There's no doubt a whole lot of thought goes into proposals these days. But how often do newly engaged chicks really consider how they'll ask their gal pals to serve as bridesmaids? After you check out this clever tutorial you be sure to rethink how you plan on asking your girls to stand next to you on the biggest day of your life. Don't forget to head on over to Emilee's blog and etsy shop where I'm pretty positive you'll find something to swoon over.

{What You'll Need}

wooden spool

alphabet stamps

an ink pad

scissors

fabric and/or trim

lace and/or glue

any packaging supplies you'd like

{Step 1} Cut your fabric or trim so that the width is just smaller than your wooden spool. You can make it just long enough for your message or longer - I did mine a bit longer to wrap around the spool a little extra.

{Step 2} Stamp out the words "Will You Be My Bridesmaid?" or "Will You Be My Maid of Honour?" on the fabric strip using your alphabet stamps and ink. 

{Step 3} You can use either a piece of tape or a dot of glue to attach your stamped fabric to the spool. Start at the right side (where your message ends) and roll so that when you unroll the fabric your message is revealed.

{Step 4} Once your fabric is all wrapped up you can tie it closed with ribbon or string or lace and add any extra touches you want! Here's how the final product turned out. Would you not squeal with delight if this little creation was handed to you? I absolutely love it! How did you ask your friends to serve as bridesmaids?

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FAQ Friday; How to be a Bridesmaid

{The Question} As a bridesmaid what are my expectations?

If one of my dear friends asked me to don a long-sleeved gown as part of my bridesmaid duties, I think I'd probably open my big mouth and tell her I was penciled in to be sick on her big day (Au contraire, if the frock with sleeves looks like the sassy gray number above then yes, please I'll wear long sleeves while promising not to make any references to Little House on the Prairie). In wedding world these days where anything goes, what expectations do you need to fulfill when you did get asked to stand up beside your best gal pal on the biggest day of her life? Besides the traditional expectations of wearing a special dress, joining in on the bridal festivities and maybe even preparing a speech here's my coles notes version on how to be the best bridesmaid possible; stemming from personal experiences as a planner, bride, bridesmaid and maid of honour (I really have filled all of those positions). Read on bloggettes!

{Communicate} I like to think that being a bride-to-be is sort of like being an expectant mother. Both roles require enduring months of planning with the built up anticipation of this life changing experience as the grand finale to your experience. When you're a bride, you'd like nothing to get in the way of 'your' day and that includes any strife between girls you've selected as your attendants. As a bridesmaid your role isn't just to make the bride happy and to be there for her, but it's to play nice with the other bridesmaids regardless of if you like em or not. The easy way to avoid any tiffs with anyone is to  communicate. I can't stress this enough but much like how communication is the key to a successful romantic relationship, it's also an important component of being a member of a bridal party. Swap numbers with the other girls as soon as the bride has selected all of her bridesmaids and don't let petty little girl tiffs become the bride's problem or the demise of the entire experience. Talk it out. Work it out. You're an adult. And the bride is your friend. Treat her like one.

{Just Ask, Just Do} Some chicks (ahem, me) are a bit of a control freak and convince everyone else that they really don't need any help planning their wedding. Those 300 programs that need cutting? Nah, super bride can do em. The floral arrangements, set up of candy bar and last minute check in with vendors? No biggie. See that girl in the white gown, she'll figure it out. Woman are always so hesitant to ask for help and inconveniencing people by asking them for a hand is sometimes the last thing we want to do. I mean after all, as a bride we've already asked these people to fork over cash for everything else, why would we burden them any further asking for help with small wedding details. News flash; if you're a bridesmaid just ask. Ask if the bride if she needs some help and be sensitive to her emotions that especially on her wedding day, are an inconceivable mix of nerves, anticipation, excitement and happiness. Better yet, just do. If something needs to be done or looks like it need a good fixing, don't be afraid to step up and pull a Nike.

{Grin and Bear It} Your fashion-disaster, stuck in the 1990s bestie is getting married and you're convinced you'll be walking down that aisle looking like a wad of cotton candy. Your first instinct is to beg and plea for a prettier rose-hued gown, without the endless layers of tulle under the skirt and a sequined bodice. But then you remember the time she consoled you over you first big break up, the time she held your hand when you grieved over losing your grandma, and the time you two promised to be friends forever and that tacky dress that costs half your rent check doesn't seem so bad. You could always go as Cyndi Lauper for next year's Halloween right? Although the above given example is slightly over the top, you get my point. Sometimes you just gotta, grin and bear it.

What were your experiences as a bridesmaid?

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