Pep Talk Tuesday {When It's The Right Time to Get Married}

A reader a few weeks ago submitted a rather interesting question to me; "How do you know when it's the right time to get married?" and I was so stumped on an appropriate answer that I later asked Apb if he had an intelligent answer to offer up. I asked him while we were in the car and I remember him making a confused-type look as he stared out at the road in front of us. I believe that much like when you know your wedding dress is 'the one' or a new apartment is 'you' or something else is truly 'meant to be' (new pumps, anyone?) you know you're ready to get married. But then again, getting married is a little bit bigger of a decision than signing a lease. 

In the vows I read to Apb on our wedding day, I told him I knew as soon as we started dating that he'd be the man I'd marry. I can't pinpoint one exact thing that was said or done that made me feel this way but instead it was just a feeling I had that him and I would be good together for the long run (he'll argue he knew I'd be the girl he'd marry when I brought him toasted bagels and cream cheese for breakfast when he used to sleep in and I had early morning classes, ah college. I miss you like whoah). We were young when we got married, well we still are young and could we have waited? Absolutely. There's never a right time to get married in my opinion. But we didn't wait, we are very happy and here's my take on how I knew I was ready. And how you too might be able to determine if you are.

{Filling the Gap} Do you ever hear the saying "You don't need a guy to make you happier, to make you feel complete, to fill in the missing piece of the puzzle"? Because I hate to break it to you blogettes, but if marrying someone is an effort to feel more fulfilled, satisfied or happy with yourself or your life, then it's all for the wrong reasons. Because like we mentioned before, marriage (or any relationship for that matter) is tough work and how rude of an awakening it would be if you got married for the purpose of being happier only to find out this 'till death do us part stuff is tough. Look at your entire life before you, subtract your significant other out of the equation and determine if there are things that need adjusting with your own self and agenda; perhaps going after that new job? Building a new social circle? Finishing that degree? Making the move to a new state? Loosing 5 pounds? When getting married is merely a way to add happiness and love to your life rather than completing it or filling in a gap, I think you're ready.

{Age Is Just a Number} The whole age thing when it comes to marriage sort of boggles my mind. I remember visiting Southern Utah on a recruiting trip the summer before my sophomore year of college. The majority of girls in their senior years were engaged; newly graduated chicks were married and pregnant. I remember feeling so out of my element, so shocked that 20 and 21 year olds were now soon to be wives and moms. Then again when I went home to Canada to study my graduate program in 2009, my fellow classmates were beyond shocked to know that at 24 I was about to get married. I was "so young!" to them and surely had other things I wanted to do before settling down. Similarly, some people always seem so taken aback when they see a bride in her late 30s early 40s. Society has such a cemented vision on the ideal age to get married at. And we all know how I feel about societal expectations; whether or not you want to get married at 18 or 56, the right time is whenever you determine it to be.

{Relationships Aren't All Butterflies} I love my husband, and fall more in love with him everyday. With that being said, I knew going into our marriage that there would be things we would still argue about/not see eye to eye on/have to battle with and the list goes on. Marriage doesn't mean an end to the things that may not be the most pleasurable during a courtship. Meaning you take the good with the bad and if you can get along with your inlaws (a biggie I'm telling ya, because these people will be your new family forever), successfully go on vacations with your significant other, see eye to eye on things like kids, household duties, relationship expectations, finances, name changes, living arrangements and so forth, then marriage may be the next best step for you and your partner should you both want it. And if you don't, and you mutually decide to pull a Brangelina because you don't need a party/ring/piece of paper declaring your love for one another, then that's cool too. Marriage (or throwing a wedding) isn't for everyone.

And because I love photos, here we are. On our 8th vacay together. Also know as our honeymoon.

How did you chicks know you were ready to get married? Or how do you predict you'll know when the time comes?